Jokes

3/21/21-3/27/21

A time traveller goes back to Ancient Rome

“Halt, strange person! where are you from?” says a soldier.
“I come from the future. what are your names?” answers the timetraveller.
The soldier replies: “My name is QUINTUS, as i am the fifth child in my family. my comrade is SEXTUS, for he was the sixth child in his family. what is your name?”
And the time traveller: “My name’s LIV.”
The roman soldier starts counting on his fingers as his eyes open in fear.

3/14/21 – 3/20/21

An Ancient Briton walks into a Roman tavern and the barman won’t serve him. “You’re not properly dressed,”he says. “We expect our customers to at least wear a tunic, but all you’ve got on is a pair of sandals and a lot of blue skin paint. Get out of here now!”

“All right, I’ll go,” the Ancient Brit says sadly. “But won’t you just give me one for the woad?”

3/7/21 – 3/13/21

My friend has a math test on Roman numerals…

I told her I hope she gets a “C”.

2/28/21 – 3/6/21

A British and Roman are conversing on the street.

British person: “Hey do you have a quid on you?”

Roman person: “A what?”

2/21/21 – 2/27/21

I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals….

I M LIVID

2/14/21 – 2/20/21

First Roman: “You won’t believe how many dormice I’ve eaten today.”

Second Roman: “MMM?”

First Roman: “Don’t be ridiculous, not that many.”

2/7/21 – 2/13/21

A pirate captain says to his 3 crew mates, “Let’s learn Roman numerals!”

The first crew mate says, “Aye.”

The second crew mate adds, “Aye aye.”

The third crew mate finishes, “Aye aye aye.”

1/31/21 – 02/06/21

I just stole 50 roman soldiers.

I guess you could say I took an L there.

1/24/21 – 1/30/21

My government recently announced they’re phasing out Roman numerals…

Not on my watch.

1/17/21 – 1/23/21

A senator is running late one day. When he arrives at the Senate House, he sees Cicero is giving a speech. When he asks another senator what he missed, the Senator replies,
“I don’t know. Cicero hasn’t gotten to the verb yet”.

1/10/21 – 1/16/21

Catullus takes a chemistry class.

He is now Catalyst

1/3/21 – 1/9/21

Brutus: “That sounds horrible, what sort of musical piece is that?”

Caesar: “Étude, Brute”

12/27/20 – 1/2/21

What do you call a Roman emperor with a cellphone?

Call-igula

12/20/20 – 12/26/20

When I was in school I got asked, “What is 3000 converted into Roman Numerals?”

I replied, “Mmm….”

12/13/20-12/19/20

Why don’t Romans find algebra interesting?

X is always 10.

12/06/20 – 12/12/20:

What do Greeks call Romans?

Copy Cats

11/29/20 – 12/05/20:

A Roman walks into a bar and says “I want a martinus”

The confused bartender asks “You mean a martini?”

The roman replies “If I need a second one I will tell you”.

11/22/20 – 11/28/20:

My government recently announced they’re phasing out Roman numerals…

Not on my watch.

11/15/20 – 11/21/20:

I just stole 50 roman soldiers.

I guess you could say I took an L there.

11/08/20 – 11/14/20:

*In 64AD when Nero bans the practice of Christianity through the Roman empire*

Christians: I can’t believe this

Romans: Correct

11/01/20 – 11/07/20:

I got a C on my roman numerals test. Perfect score !

10/25/20 – 10/31/20:

Q: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?

A: With a pair of Caesars!


9/15/20 – 9/21/20: 

Q: Who performed the Imperial Roman version of “Can’t Touch This”?

Hammer - Montessori Services

A: 1100 Hammer